Reflection

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Being 15 is rough. Just ask Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano.

“The sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time,” says the dictionary. Nostalgia has been flooding me lately as I’ve been sorting through boxes of junk.

I found old diaries from when I was 15 – talking about boys and driving permits. I also found yearbooks. In high school, I didn’t date too much. I was always a “good girl” (no drinking, no parties – my idea of a fun night out was pushing friends in shopping carts through the KMart parking lot in the middle of the night or dancing in Jessica’s garage). I  figured there must be something wrong with me to not have dates to prom or a boyfriend at the football game. But reading over these yearbook messages, I decoded interest from the male species. I was so blind! It makes me laugh to think I was so insecure. It makes me glad I’ve gotten past high school and makes me want to help other young people as they transition through one of the roughest times in their life. Social akwardness at its peak. Somehow, we all survive.

I also found a cassette tape my best girlfriends made for me when we were 14. They were singing and saying things they liked about me. I had to ask Jeanne to borrow her cassette player to listen. We laughed the whole time. It felt good to remember those times and know that even as we grow and change, we will always have these great memories of people we have cared about in our lives.

Found an old note in a drawer from a journalist I reached out to when I first starting reporting at the Eureka Reporter in 2007. After reading a dozen of his articles I mysteriously found in my desk, I e-mailed him to compliment him on his work. He was impressed and wrote a journalism professor of mine to thank her for teaching me “the way.”

Oct. 24, 2007

Dear Marcy,

I called and left a message for you, but in case you don’t have time to call back, here’s what I need to tell you:

First…I’m a narrative writer (and now an author). I write for the Wichita Eagle.

A few days ago, I got an e-mail from a 19-year-old intern at the Eureka paper…Ashley Bailey.

She said that on the first day she showed up at her internship, there was a pile of my clips on the desk. She has no idea who left them there or why.

I don’t know either. The only time I’ve been to California was last year when I taught narrative for API in Los Angeles. Maybe somebody from Eureka was there then, and took my clips home to use as coffee cup napkins. Anyway, Ashley said she couldn’t put my stories down. She recognized it as narrative writing, and said that this was the kind of writing that appealed to her.

This was nice to hear, but I had a couple of thoughts as I read her email.

One was…there are so few people in my industry who get it about narrative, and writing about people…where did this kid come from? I’m somewhat bitter about how collectively dumb we are in journalism. I’m fond of inverted pyramid myself, when it’s appropriate to use…but a steady diet of it, including in feature stories, is like eating Oscar Meyer weiners every meal.

Narrative resonates…my friends and I have proven it again and again…yet we continue to just grind things out at dailies, writing “stories” that increasingly look like church bulletin listings of names and facts. As though that’s going to galvanize subscriptions. As though two-paragraph briefs…the new online journalism…is going to galvanize subscriptions either.

Reading what she said was like finding a flower growing in an ash pit. Where did this kid come from?

I teach narrative a bit, in mini-seminars at other papers when asked…I’ve also taught at National Writers Workshops and for API in DC and Los Angeles…so I know how few narrativists there are.

The other, darker, thought was: “And now my industry is going to crush the life out of her writing.”

So I called. I asked: Where did you come from? How do you know about this species of writing, given that there are so few of us? Where did you even hear the word “narrative?”

She said she had a good teacher…you.

She said you teach stories about people always resonate more.

So that’s why I’m writing: to say thank you.

You are so right to teach that, and so rare in teaching it.

Here’s hoping you keep planting flowers. If you’re still in touch with her, see if you can help that flower keep growing, ins pite of the weeds that will soon encroach. There is a difference between typing and writing, and most people in most newsrooms don’t know the difference. You know the difference….and I’m grateful.

Sincerely,

Roy Wenzl

I painted a dinosaur in watercolor shades of blue fading into green, orange into yellow and sparkly glitter and salt covering the top. I didn’t just freestyle paint  a dinosaur. I can’t really say they come up in thought too often. I was inspired by my friend Rose who gave me a stencil she made of a dinosaur. I decided to finally put it to use. It was a lovely day, I had my door wide open, the sun from my porch beaming onto my legs as I sprawled out on the living room floor. Briana fed the starving artist I had become. She brought over a peanut butter and jelly (homemade plum jelly of course – Briana doesn’t do cooking “halfway” even when it comes to basic necessities).

I realized I act more and more like an eight year old every day. Maybe I never grew up past eight years old? I’d like to think I kept all the good traits of little Ashley (artistic, hardworking, playful) and tossed out the bad (stubborn, impatient, bad 90′s fashion sense).  It makes me smile inside to think I still enjoy the things a kid can, but with the freedom of being an adult. I think working around kids every week has been really good for me. I embrace wearing tutus in public and still find excuses to throw more pink into my life (ex: Don’t you think those pink paper plates would be cute for the party? OR I think I’m going to buy the pink string lights from Target for year round use, even though they’re obviously meant for some old lady’s pink christmas tree fantasy).

Personality quiz says I’m 38. Wii Fit test based on my balance, fitness and BMI says I’m 42. I say I’m somewhere between 8 and 16 years old.

Where does 20-something fit into this equation?

I washed away 2010 with a sea of champagne and hearty laughter. Now, what, 2011? These are some things I will do this year.

1. Be more flirtatious – what do you have to lose? A wink, a smile, a giddy laugh. Make someone’s day. :)

2. Don’t be so sensitive – the world is full of lovers and you can find hope in everyone.

3. Use fear as currency for courage –  ”The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.” Marcel Proust

Song to listen to: The Gambler by Fun.

I never thought of myself as a media snob until today.

Even though I am a trained journalist involved in all sorts or media, I don’t read the New York Times every day (or even every week). I don’t listen to Democracy Now! or regularly watch documentaries. I always thought of myself as kind of a media poseur, that I can write about people, but I don’t read about them quite nearly as much as I should. Then I realized my media-intake habits, however inconsistent, have still helped me become more educated and decisive than a lot of people in the United States – even in our own small community in Humboldt County.

I realized this today while I was doing some volunteer training to help people learn to read and write better. I interviewed a fellow trainee – an older woman from Fortuna, we’ll just call her P-Dawg for privacy’s sake (I’ve been nicknaming people “[blank]-dawg” a lot recently…it sounds cool, right?).

Anyway, she was really surprising to me. I think I really take literacy and access to information for granted. P-dawg doesn’t have a computer. She doesn’t own a CD player or listen to the radio. She only reads the local newspaper, watches TV and reads trashy romance novels. She seemed perfectly content not knowing what National Public Radio is and eating Burger King for lunch on a regular basis.

In our exercise, she took a turn to interview me . She wrote a lot slower than me and mixed up my words very easily. Not the best listener. I never realized that I write fast – and accurately at that. I never realized that it was a “skill” to be had. I am always so hard on myself about my writing/listening/reporting skills, but I am realizing I’m actually quite good at it. Is it bad that I took this woman’s faults as an ego boost? I don’t think so. I think we both had a good time with the exercise, each taking it at our own pace and asking questions in our own way. We both learned how to be better listeners and adapt our skills to each individual person that we work with.

Bucket List

Found this on Karen’s fridge. A few of us were teasing her about wanting to write “the first half” of her memoir by the time she’s 30. Skydiving could be in the cards soon if we get our money right. :)

In the Spring, I took a weekend seminar in Sufism.  I needed an extra unit to graduate and thought, why not? I’ve always tried to be open-minded when it comes to religion since I don’t participate in any organized one myself. I think back to my experience every now and then because I felt the breathing mediation exercises help me relax. I wrote about my feelings after the experience:

Sufism is a mystical sector of Islam. For us, it’s about finding a guide along our human path as a spiritual being rather than trying to find a spiritual path. It’s always there. It’s about opening your heart towards God. The practice is to go towards the truth and has been called the religion of love. Sufism keeps the Divine in their hearts and minds constantly and praises God through dance, song and poetry. Inayat Khan founded the Sufi Order of the West in 1914. He formed a list of ten sufi principles for its followers to always keep in mind. There is one God, there is one Religion, there is one master and more. A follower goes outside themselves and quiets their thoughts. They see a larger reality.

Rumi was a Persian and influential Sufi poet. He looked at religion from a universal standpoint. His compositions greatly influenced the Persian culture. He was born in the year 1207 and his poetry and beliefs are still very popular and commonly used among Sufi culture today. He believed that using creative forms like music were the closest way to reach God. Early followers of Rumi started the Mawlawi Sufi Order in 1273. They believed in turning practices and singing to reach God, which explains why many Sufi followers today still do circle dances while singing and performing. All human experience is spiritual and Rumi writes about this in his poetry. All emotions – both good and bad – can be a reminder that “the Divine” is there.

I found the Sufi Elemental 20-Breath Practice very helpful. It is something I plan on taking with me from the class. I’m a naturally stressed out person, and being a journalism student adds on to that. The daily deadlines, the effort of accuracy and running from place to place. I love the adrenaline, but sometimes my soul just needs a break. A resting spot. I felt using the elements of earth, water, fire, air and ether were easy ways for me to remember to breathe. I thought the dancing that accompanied the breathing was OK, but I can’t see myself doing them on a regular basis. Part of me felt a resistance to it, like it was too silly – even though I’m a very silly person. I went into the class having this anxious feeling in my chest and after we did the breathing exercises, I felt like I had bandaged up a wound. It was a temporary fix that made me feel better. I’m going to hold on to the sheet of instructions and try to train myself to do this for at least once a day.

One of the practices I particularly didn’t care for was the reading of the prayers. I don’t come from a religious background. I’ve always been resistant to organized church. The dancing and singing were all fun, but then this was the first structure of the class that felt like traditional church to me. The words I was reading out loud – I didn’t believe them. I felt hesitant to perform them in front of the class. My group read the Saum prayer. My group was very interested in acting out the prayer. It was all I could just to get up there and read and I felt uncomfortable. I’m usually a very outgoing vibrant personality. I am involved in broadcast journalism and have to be able to project my voice and talk in front of people, so this shouldn’t have been an issue. I know there is somewhere inside of me that is spiritual, but I have grown up for so long resisting it that it is taking me time to tell myself it is OK to let go and be vulnerable.


Today I wrote two articles, a blog for a business and now my own personal blog. I’ve been doing a lot of writing! I guess that what happens when you write for a living. I never seem to get sick of it. Sometimes it can be difficult to find a flow of words, though. To not oversimplify, but not muddle thoughts either. I think the combination of writing and then reading aloud makes for great work. I learned that in both print and broadcast writing classes. I’ve been taught that good writing should also be a good read to read aloud. I think this became very apparent to me after writing a story about a reading service for the blind. If you write in a rush, they won’t get the information!

It’s made me really miss radio lately. I love the casual tone of writing you can take when telling a story. If you just listen to a radio story, it’s more accessible information. People actually listen to the whole piece.  They take in your complete work of art. Can that be said for a print story? I don’t know. I don’t know anyone that reads an entire print story, especially if it is more than 500 words. Does that mean all stories should be less than 500 words? Would it be dumbing down culture? Or are we just getting too flowery with our writing? I was typing in a letter to the editor the other day that had all of the “ands,” “thes,” and “ofs” removed to save space. Really confusing, but maybe that guy was on to something…

Case in point: radio may still have a future for me, but storytelling and meeting new people is key. I’m working that into my long term life plan.

Not everyday in the life of Ashley Bailey is exciting. But once I write it down, it doesn’t sound too shabby. :)

1. Bike ride with the brother

(the wheels got their weekly spiderweb cleaning and I got re-trained in shifting gears properly – apparently I’m forgetful in that department)

2. Blondie’s for a mocha and computer time

(I love that place, but no ice? No ice? Really?)

3. Taught some kids about flowers in my after school nature class

(One boy brought in a snake unexpectedly, oh boy…)

4. Wrote a cover story freelance article

(and decided 4-H is not “hick,” as previously thought, but BADASS)

5. Picked up a friend from work

(and after driving up to campus, thanked the universe for being done with college)

6. Solo beach excursion

(got a nail in the foot, but the reflection time in the sun was worth it)

7. Re-heated leftovers

(saved money, yay! Plus,pasta + gorgonzola cheese = amazingness)

8. Gossip Girl!

(I figure, the more soap operas I watch on TV, the less I see in real life)

I have a confession: I LOVE FLUFF. (Who doesn’t love puppies? Right?!)

Puppies are awesome, but I’m definitely not into so-called “fluff” without substance. Fluff with passion – I’ve found there’s a difference. It’s all about the integrity you put into writing a piece no matter how “unimportant” the topic may be. Connecting people who may have been broken or uninformed before. Journalists often see other journalists as phonies if they write “fluff” pieces – the kind of articles that focus on human emotion, joy, or seemingly “insignificant” and “non-newsworthy” content. I don’t feel like a phonie. I love writing about people and what they love. Their passions. I instantly get hooked and attached to almost everyone I interview because I can appreciate what they have to say. Maybe that makes me soft? I don’t know, but it works for me.

It’s especially heartwarming when I interview people who have never been interviewed before. They really soak up the attention and having someone genuinely listen to them is refreshing. I really could care less about reporting on a political scandal, a business transaction or a shark attack (OK, I lied, shark attacks are pretty exciting to write about.).

I recently wrote a piece about a reading service for the blind community that was published about a week ago in the local Tri-City Weekly. The paper used to be a throw-away for the most part with classified ads, but now it has some nice human interest and entertainment content. I had the opportunity to connect with activists in the blind community and it was very inspiring. I even hand-delivered copies of the paper to one of my sources and she was thrilled. It’s an amazing experience I get the opportunity to recapture every time I write a new story :) So don’t rag on us feature reporters, we’re keeping people’s hearts full when they need it most.

Finding a community connection

Reading Service of the Redwoods provides access to news for the blind

By Ashley Bailey (for the Tri-City Weekly)

Jan Farrar’s mother, brother, grandfather and great-grandmother faced a life of not being able to see. They were blind. When Farrar started to lose her night vision as a teenager, she wasn’t ready to face it. A hereditary disease called retinitis pigmentosa took her family’s vision and later, her own.

”Some people have gone blind gradually and I’ve been lucky,” she said. “You don’t die from blindness.”

Farrar and her family never talked about being blind. Now, she said she finds value in talking about it and does so often.

Not only does she serve as vice president of the Humboldt Council of the Blind and leader of an Arcata-based low-vision weekly support group, the 64-year-old Arcata woman also serves as a board member at Reading Service of the Redwoods, a non-profit that provides access to printed information for those who are blind or vision impaired.

The Reading Service launched locally in 1998, in response to a need for those with low vision to have access to printed content.

It started in executive director Joan Sikkens’ bedroom. All she had was a cassette recorder, a microphone taped to a brick and a desire to read aloud to those who could not read themselves.

Sikkens got permission to read local articles and the cassette was passed around the blind community to enjoy. It became the inspiration for a weekday broadcast out of a studio in Arcata, that can now be heard from Trinidad to Redway.

Sikkens found it was a needed service, as many locals with low vision missed reading their local newspapers and didn’t have access to them.

”It’s hard to find a spouse or family member patient enough to read the paper the way you want to hear it. Sometimes we like to scan it and skip things,” Sikkens said. “It can be a trying thing to do.”

Later, Sikkens found out about reading service broadcasts around the country.

Partnering with KEET and later, a sub-carrier through KHSU, Sikkens was able to develop a small broadcast system that can be received by special radios.

They’re about $25 apiece, pre-tuned to the Reading Service frequency and are loaned out to those in the low-vision community.

Sikkens said they concentrate on local news, but it also carries national content since the station is on 24 hours a day.

On weekdays, volunteers read local publications such as the Times-Standard, The North Coast Journal, The Humboldt Beacon, the Redwood Times and the Ferndale Enterprise.

Sikkens said they have considered having weekend readers, but it’s logistically harder to get volunteers to come in. They read news stories, obituaries, horoscopes and hope to one day read the comics, too.

”People really need that access to printed detailed information to know what’s going on and make decisions,” Sikkens said. “It’s not always the most entertaining stuff, but at least they have access to the information as it was in print. It’s important for that community connection.”

Mary “Lindy” Timmerman of Eureka is an active listener to Reading Service.

”For me, it opened the door to the other world — having someone read the newspaper, read the horoscopes. I sit and have my cup of coffee. They read recipes, sports, the TV section,” she said. “It makes you feel more independent.”

Timmerman, 60, lost her sight 30 years ago after her optic nerve was damaged due to long-term health issues. A lifelong Eureka resident, Timmerman said was active in the community and a single mother, raising her 12-year-old son. When she lost her sight, there were few services available to the blind in Humboldt County.

”For me, it was literally all of a sudden — the world was dark. The simplest things you take for granted, like reading the paper,” she said. “I used to always be into gardening and that was lost.”

Now, Timmerman has access to a fuller life, she said, hearing information like gardening tips from Reading Service via a gardening magazine they read aloud. She gets down on her hands and knees occasionally to play in the garden.

”You learn how to feel the flowers,” she said.

Timmerman said when she’s not listening to the Reading Service, she makes time to play her guitar, type on the computer and even text her teenage granddaughters.

Currently, there are about 25 active volunteer readers at Reading Service and 10 readers are scheduled to come in each week. Sikkens said the Reading Service frequently accepts new readers on board since schedules change.

”Most people know if they read well aloud. It’s for people that can read in a pleasant way and their pronunciation skills are excellent,” Sikkens said. “They have to be able to think on their feet, read well and be flexible.”

The Reading Service may have come from humble beginnings, but has grown to a small 15-foot by 19-foot office studio at the Cooper Building on Samoa Boulevard in Arcata.

There is a bright skylight in the studio, where most broadcast studios don’t even have windows. There are common word pronunciations on the wall to aid the volunteer readers.

Jean Guthrie has been a volunteer reader with the Reading Service for two years.

Pen in hand and glasses perched, she cuts pages out of the newspaper, preparing for her Friday morning reading shift.

She used highlighters of different colors to box articles that were to be read on-air.

There are always two readers scheduled to read for an hour every weekday morning.

”It’s a long stint for one person to read through,” Guthrie said. “It can get really monotonous if you’re listening to the same voice all the time.”

There are no call-ins, music or commercials interspersed into the program — just the news, she said.

”We try not to make a lot of crinkling with the newspaper on the mics, but we will have to on this one,” she said, highlighting an article that jumped to a back page.

She checks out the datelines to see locality. A rule is to not editorialize. “You try not to add words, or take them out,” she said.

In the studio office where Guthrie was reading on-air, a plaque hung on the wall in Sikkens’ honor — a reminder of the steps she took to make the service happen.

The California Council of the Blind, based in Sacramento, honored Sikkens with a merit award, in May 2000. The award came from starting and single-handedly developing a reading service for the blind. She was recognized for advocating and fundraising, as well as donating substantial amounts of her own resources to the organization.

Jeff Thom, president of the California Council of the Blind, said that the support groups in Humboldt County are smaller than in other cities, but very active in comparison.

The Sacramento chapter is bigger, he said, but focuses more on legislation.

He said it can be difficult to attract people in large numbers to seek out low-vision support and finds a lot of advocacy has to be done one on one.

”There’s a long way to go, there’s inconsistency with services all over the state and it has a tremendous impact, Thom said.

Sikkens is doing her part to help advocate one day at a time.

She taught at Pine Hill Elementary School for 13 years before shifting her focus to the Reading Service in 1999. She also serves as choir director at First Covenant Church in Eureka.

Running the daily operations of the Reading Service doesn’t leave her much time to read on-air anymore, she said.

”I started it because I enjoyed the reading,” Sikkens said. “Now, I do the books and I take out the trash, I recycle the papers, make phone calls and try to do some fundraising.”

Sikkens didn’t seem to mind too much, as the service is helping people like Farrar and Timmerman connect with their community and help find those that need support.

”When you’re blind and you meet another blind person, there’s a certain camaraderie that no one else shares,” Timmerman said. “It’s important to keep ahold of that support group.”

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